First post here, second post here, third post here.
Some people wanted an update when I got the money back, so here it is.
I'd been talking to support this whole time, often waiting days for a response, only to get paired with someone to whom I had to explain the entire situation again. They would ask me to give them a moment to read the chat log, but they clearly never would, probably intimidated by the sheer length of it. I messaged the mod team here twice, hoping to get the issue escalated, but never got a response. Occasionally a rep would grant my request to transfer me to either a more senior rep or the fiat team, depending on how far I had got in the conversation at that point. However, these transfers would never connect me with anyone, after a period of time I would be asked if my issue had been solved, clicking no would put me back in the regular queue.
I persevered, going round in these circles, until finally a transfer to the fiat team actually had me speaking to someone. They told me what I had learnt 2 months ago, about how they were unable to return the money to the account that had sent it, and asked for alternate bank details, details that I had provided to regular support numerous times under the promise that they would be forwarded to the fiat team.
At last though, I was connected to the people that I had wanted to speak directly to ever since I heard of their existence. I gave my bank details, and later in the night got a message asking for my sender name. This I had no idea, was it First Middle Last, First Last, or simply MR F LAST as is on my bank card? I said that I would contact my bank in the morning to find this out, but the fiat team rep said that they would put the transaction through as "First Middle Last", and I could ask my bank to not reject the payment if it were wrong.
I needn't have worried though, when I woke up I decided to check my account prior to ringing, and there was 4 grand sitting there, a very welcome sight after all this time. So yeah, it's finally over. Hours and hours of my time wasted, but I've got my money back. I had pretty much written it up as a loss, and I dread to think how many people, especially with smaller amounts, have simply given up.
My advice to anyone in the same position, keep pushing to get through to the fiat team, they are a much higher calibre than regular support (they don't call you sir for one thing). Have your transaction details, bank details (including name!), and any relevant screenshots on hand ready to paste in at any time. (The amount of times I was asked to upload the same screenshots was just silly, you'd think that they would be tied to the chat in some way.) And don't give up, a company as large has Binance has no excuse for having such a poor support network. Don't let their miserliness win.
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