A simple guide on how to lose your precious crypto to scams. Part 3.

Are you tired of all these scam warning posts that pop up on Reddit and twitter. Well today, I'm going to do the opposite. I'm going to tell you exactly how to lose all your crypto to scams, again! There seems to be new fans from Part 2 and Part 1 on my series. Some took on board my advice and lost their holdings. LOL. "Two things are infinite: the universe and crypto scams; and I’m not sure about the universe!" - Einstein, [adapted]. Some people were complaining last time that I sounded like a Motley Fool article, so I've lightened things down a bit. Anyways, here is part 3 now:

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1. Sweeper bots - You hop onto your favourite crypto circlejerk subreddit r/SafeMoon, and see a post of someone giving away their wallet seed phrase with $1,000 worth of Safemoon. It's your lucky day! You enter the wallet seed phrase onto Trust Wallet and there it is: $1,000 of Safemoon. You then deposit $30 of BNB because there isn't enough (or any) BNB for gas to withdraw it to your own address. You withdraw it, and gleefully simile as you are going to be $1,000 richer. 3 minutes later, nothing, 30 minutes later, nothing, and finally you decide to investigate on the chain explorer. You look at it and you have no idea what happened and decide to complain on r/cryptocurrency. Someone replies saying that you got swept. LOL! You lost $30 and got baited!
2. Imposter scams - After eating a bag of Doritos you 500lb slob, you get a message on Twitter from the one and only Vitalik Buterin! Apparently, he is out of Ethereum and needs some ETH for the Merge to work. He says he will return twice the amount back to you once it is done. Hmm, you find it implausible that the founder of Ethereum needs ETH but then he sends a screenshot of his MetaMask wallet balance being zero. That's all it took for you. You send your entire balance of 0.24 ETH and he says 'thank you'. Like the last scam, you waited and hoped but you did not learn your lesson. LOL! You got scammed by Vitalik Buterin a 15 year old boy!
3. "Validate your seed phrase" scams - This one got requested by u/_Royal_Insylum. You are checking your emails, something from 14 hours ago from Trust-Wallet pops up offering you $30 of free Bitcoin if you validate your seed phrase through the link. You have heard a million times before: Don't click links from people you don't trust. You tell yourself: 'But it's Trust Wallet! It's in their name!' You have a feeling that this is a bad idea, but the $30 of free Bitcoin overcomes your sense of paranoia. You find a piece of paper of your 12 word seed phrase and type all of it up on the 'Trust Wallet Support' website. You tell yourself again: 'You're going to be $30 richer after this!' And done. In real time, your wallet address drains as your bitcoin goes first, then your BNB and the 3/42 worthwhile tokens you have disappears. OH NO NOT YOUR DOGE! LOL! You just got scammed.
4. Ponzi Schemes - You see an ad on Facebook (who uses that trash anymore?) of a crypto investment group that can 100x your money in 90 days. As if your 12% APY on Crypto.com wasn't enough you greedy pig. You click on the link to see if it is legit. Sure enough they've introduced you to their entire team! Of course, guys in suits? Check. Famous names? Check. Reputation? Eh, that doesn't matter when there is 100x on your returns. You check the reviews this time. Good on you learning from the previous time with that dodgy exchange.5/5 stars. That's all you needed, but check the first review for extra affirmation: 'My $1,000 deposit turned into $69,000 after 1 month! Can't believe it is legit (with a screenshot).' You go back to their site, open a new account, and deposit $1,000 of USDT since they accept crypto as well. Bye bye Civic, hello Lambo! 3 months later you have decided you have waited long enough. $134,000 waiting to be withdrawn. You withdraw it, they need to sign it off. Shouldn't take too long. 1 hour passes and you can't wait. 1 hour turns into 1 day as you start to become a little suspicious. You check the reviews again and this time it crashed to 1.3/5 stars. "Ponzi Scheme - WARNING." "SCAM ALERT" - that is all you see. LOL! You got Ponzi Schemed and say bye bye to your USDT.
5. Fraudulent job offers - You've lost a lot of money from these scams lately and you need to pay that rent. Flipping burgers at Macca's isn't cutting it. You list down all the things you are good at, 'crypto' is the only thing you have written down. Surely there are jobs out there that specialise in cryptocurrency. You search online for 'crypto jobs' and the first thing that comes up is an upcoming Korean exchange offering many positions. You tell yourself - leadership shouldn't be too hard and you apply for project manager. Within two minutes, you get an email reply asking you to message them privately on Telegram. 'Unusual. But who am I to question? I've only worked in Macca's before so I shouldn't be surprised' - you tell yourself. You download Telegram and setup your account with a proper email, not [email protected]. You message a guy named King John-Une with a fat Korean guy with a weird haircut. That sounds familiar but you don't know who it reminds you of. He tells you that you can get the job instantly with the salary at 500k a year but you have to pay for the training. You ask on telegram: "how much is training?" and he replies with "3k but you can pay in bitcoin to this address." Finally, a real life use for crypto. You accept and then pay the bitcoin to King John-Une. Then he replies with "we will get you sorted quickly". Then you get BLOCKED! For a minute, your gullible brain went into freeze as you realised you got scammed yet again! LOL!
6. Telegram pump signal group chat scams - Since you have now downloaded Telegram, you have been randomly invited to group chats with links to other dodgy telegram group chats. Yet, you've done the smart thing and left these groups. You are finally learning from your mistakes! Ooh, you've just been invited by Elon Musk on telegram to join his 20,000 member Crypto Moon Shots Group chat. Now, you are a big fan of Elon and once invested into Dogecoin in 2017 and he pumped your coin up. You sold all your DOGE in early May 2022 and you have enough funds to have been scammed 17 times and still have a lot of funds remaining. Still not enough to buy a lambo LOL! You decide to join as you don't have much to lose right now and there looks like there is a lot to gain. Oh wow! Looking at the last signal pumps you see the pumps they did: 647%, 235% 89%. You want in. There is one happening tonight at 7pm on a random exchange. You load up on DOGE and wait. Now it is 7pm. The coin chosen is CHTA/DOGE pair, a coin that has mooned before but on low volume. You quickly rush in, one tab on Telegram, and the other on the exchange. You buy as quickly as possible, filling all the buy orders and creating some sell orders (just like the group chat told you). You HOLD as long as possible. Up 34%. 156%. 388%. 547%. 1349%. HODL. Then just as the green candle skyrocketed, it falls red hard and CHTA is down 30%. You didn't just loose 30% as you bought high, you lost 80%. Fat L. You complain on the Telegram and they reply with "be faster next time bro." You decide to investigate, a large spike of volume was occurred a week earlier, the exact same as the one that dumped the coin in the first place. You realise that you got scammed yet again by a pump signals group. LOL!

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That's it for part 3. Part 4 soon...