A warm welcome message to our newcomer Goldman Sachs. I wish you a warm welcome to the crypto world! Here are some guidelines and beginners tips and tricks for you to make your journey a pure success!

Hello Goldman, I wish you a warm welcome!

I know, I know. You probably have so many question, and that is ok! We have been there, and I understand that you are a bit overwhelmed with all these new terms and definitions in this complicated blockchain world.

I want to make your life easier and help you out with some valuable lessons.

You had a rough run back in 2008, I know, I know. I have been there, you get a couple of tips from the boys, you throw some money in it, and before you know it, you wasted more money then you initially wanted and yeah...you got busted hard. Fuck it, shit happens, at least you had a good time.

Because these were the times! Right? The entire world was full on that YOLO kind of lifestyle - you know, expensive champagne, parties and private jets were so common that you just needed some additional rush and a adrenaline run.

Luckily, you got bailed out, earned even a good fat bonus just good enough for a brand new start! Life is all about trying, failing and trying again, getting back up and face the world with a new mindset!

I know Goldman, where do I even start? All these Proof of Work and Proof of Stake things, mining and voting, DEX and CEX, NFT's, bridges, sushi and a bunch of dog logos - I was as confused as you are, but don't despair.

Here are my tips and tricks:

1. Just ignore all of these terms, you won't understand it anyway. Time is money, and money is champagne, parties and private jets. You miss these days, I know you do, I saw your new website, Crypto is now your new YOLO lifestyle!
2. Now you want to get rich fast! All in brother. Just throw some valuable assets into something Safe that will moon quick, luckily you got Safemoon as a coin. Its a x1000 gem. If these kids on youtube can do it, you can do it too!
3. You want to borrow more money, at least you got some great friends as investors, just get their money and spice things up with some Dog and Cum looking coins, these things explode overnight and that will secure your life long supply of that tasty Italian champagne.
4. Now you want to celebrate and wait for a couple of days before taking that x1000 profit, right? You bet ya! Go out, go bezerk! Do a tweet, tease Elon and the gang, make it wild bro! You gonna go to the moon.
5. Take profits. Easy as that!

See, it ain't that hard. You just became our new valuable member, a man on the Moon, a true LAMBO deluxe!

Have fun and keep us posted!

and now...to the Moon!