Addiction to holding

I think i’m addicted to holding. Been buying since a few years now, DCAing whenever i could. Saw big losses and big wins. When BTC was down in the 20k, i promised myself i would sell whenever i made even and enough with the gambling as i’m a father supporting 2 kids. Well, i did break even and even made a slight profit but didn’t sell a thing. Then i set a new target, 60K and i’m out, and kept buying again. BTC hit the 60K and later on dipped a bit and i didn’t do a thing. I set a new target, when it reaches its ATH again i’ll be out, and you know the rest. This kept going on and on with new targets every time, 50% profit, 100% profit, 70K mark which was achieved on multiple occasions since March, etc. and i just couldn’t get myself to sell not even a part of it. My new target is 80K and i’m sure i won’t move a finger.

It’s the FOMO, the somehow enjoyable stress of every big dip that comes after every stupid economic and political event, the excitement of every bull run, the fear of regretting not waiting for a new ATH, it has truly become and addiction, one that I’m enjoying to be honest despite everything.

I don’t think i’ll ever sell is what I’m saying, unless i really need to and forced into it.

The thing that is driving me crazy right now is that i need to move on with my life and make some changes. I have an opportunity to partner up with a friend to start my own business, i do need a new car, i need this and that, but I’m mentally convinced that i have no savings and i don’t have the necessary funds to at least do one of those things on my list. I’d rather take a bank loan than selling.

Not sure if this is greed or just the fear of missing out on what the future hides,makes sense?