Beginner Question on use of Recovery Phrase

I know to never give the phrase to anyone ever, the warnings are everywhere. to the point that I'm having a hard time finding information on the proper use of the phrase, like, the one time that I'm allowed to use it, as it's meant to be.

maybe it's a dumb question but if I enter the recovery phrase into a wallet software, how can I know I haven't just given it away? is there some kind of official documentation on safe use of the recovery phrase, and how to tell if something is legit or not, when dealing with 3rd party software. sorry if those are noob questions but I want to make sure I really understand it. cheers