Coinbase will be down for 8 hours on March 4th, so prepare for major market moves

Everyone knows that exchanges love to screw over their customers. Exchanges will come up with reasons to temporarily cease trading right when something big is going to happen.

Clearly this trend means that March 4th is going to include some crazy trends. Bitcoin will hit $100,000, Ethereum will kill Bitcoin and hit $150,000, and Shiba Inu will kill Ethereum and hit $200,000.

All Coinbase users will get to stare at their phones while hard wallet holders laugh. They will be just like the Shiba Inu Billionaire: Worth millions, but unable to actually capitalize.

Just before the “scheduled maintenance” is over the market will have an adjustment bringing everything down to pennies. All your sell orders that you tried to activate at the top will go through wiping out your portfolio. Then and only then will the market return to “pre-bull run” levels with the current market standings. To thank you for your donation to their company Coinbase will send you a shirt that says “I was a Millionaire for 8 hours and all I got was this shirt.”