If you like to gamble, invest, and buy things while drunk, crypto is here to help

Have you ever woken up in the morning with less money in or bank account after going on a bender and wonder where it went? Crypto is the technology that is here to solve these mysteries. A simple trip to the block explorer will give a clear picture of where your money went (except if you used Solana since their block explorer requires a phd to use). You can figure out what unreputable degen yield farm you staked your ETH. If you used crypto to pay you could see how many footlong hotdogs and gyros you consumed at 1am. You can see what terrible bet you made at the online casino.

TLDR: With crypto you can discover what bad decisions you made while intoxicated (unless you used Solana to make them).