In a single sentence describe your entire portfolio

As the title says describe your entire portfolio in a single sentence, I may comment and try to guess what coins you’re holding as well. Bonus points if your comment is funny I’ll tip you a moon.

I have no other words to say and this 500 character limit is really annoying so here is some filler text that holds no value or relevant information to the post.

please don’t disclose the value of your portfolio that’s never a good idea, and I don’t want this thread to be a target for scammers

I’ll start: Boating Accident