Is all crypto essentially digital beanie babies?

Every use case I have ever heard for crypto is essentially collect and hold until it has more value than you bought for and then maybe sell or hold and hope the value goes up more.

It doesn't function as a currency because nobody wants to wait 20 mins for confirmation of payment for things or to have to talk someone into downloading an app so that way they'll be able to transact. Also it doesn't function because nobody wants to end up paying $300 million for a pizza or whatever the story is.

It doesn't function as a store of value because it's not like price spikes when the market tanks and people come rushing to crypto when the stock market or bond market tanks, I.e. it's not gold. Often the price declines just as steeply if not more than the stock market on red days.

So if it's not a currency and not a store of value.... What is it?...... Digital beanie babies?

For those who don't know: there was a point in time (late 90's early 00's) where people were heavily investing in bean bag plushie animals that were supposed to one day be collectors items and increase significantly in value. Some actually did but 99.9% lost money.