Noob shit that helped me a lot, hopefully it can help you as well...

????????????Not financial advice!!! Please be safe and Do Your Own Research (DYOR)!!! hackers everywhere want your crypto please please be safe????????????

Firstly, read this in it's entirety. I don't give a fuck about your TLDR. Read it.

http://unenumerated.blogspot.com/2017/02/money-blockchains-and-social-scalability.html

BTC=digital gold, store of value, founded by anonymous Satoshi Nakamoto.

ETH=platform on which most blockchain technologies operate, founded by Vitalik Buterin. Think a city or highway of blockchain. The core foundation of DeFi and other Dapps for the 2020/2021 bull market

Dapp = Decentralized application

Gas = cost of transaction on the eth blockchain. The higher the traffic, the higher the gas. Quantified in GWEI (fraction of ETH)

Check gas on txstreet.com and ethgasstation

UNI, SUSHI, YFI, MKR, 1INCH, COMP, DPI

Defi tokens, DPI is an index of most defi tokens (safe investment)

DeFi=decentralized finance: borrow, lend, provide liquidity and swap tokens all on-chain without a centralized exchange

LP = liquidity pools. One may provide funds to an LP in exchange for a reward, most typically the token representing the dex.

Yield farming = moving capital from one LP to another in order to chase the highest APY yields (NOT RECOMMEND FOR BEGINNERS!)

LINK=tech that lets outside data connect with blockchain technology (Oracle)

ADA/DOT = type of blockchains that seek to accomplish more than ETH 1.0.

ETH 2.0 = update to the Ethereum network that plans to address issues such as scalability, gas prices, transactions/second.

HODL = Hold on for Dear Life

Moon = price is increasing sharply

KYC = Know Your Customer. Identity verification process required to use particular exchanges. Most strict in US. Many people avoid KYC to avoid the heavy capital gains tax on crypto gains.

FOMO = Fear of Missing Out

pump = price goes up

Dump = price goes down

Bull market = prices trending upwards

Bear market = prices trending downwards

ICO = initial coin offering

DCA = dollar cost average, implementing a strategy of buying at pre-planned time intervals so as to achieve a reasonable average buy price.

ATH = all time high

Sats = referencing the smallest mineable amount of Bitcoin, named after satoshi

Rugpull = when a project loses its financial backing and goes down, usually happens fast.

Degen = degenerate trade, usually referring to a trade made without any research and with high risk/reward

IL = impermanent loss. The phenomenon of losing capital in a LP investment due to an asset appreciating in price during the Pool. Unless you can learn/handle IL. Stay away from Yield Farming!

Recommend Exchanges

Binance (most advanced)

Gemini (mid range)

Coinbase (most basic)

Resources

Tradingview.com (charts)

Coingecko.com (price trackers)

Defipulse.com (DeFi resource)

Binance.com (exchange, charts)

Pieces of wisdom

"Time in the market is more important than timing in the market"

"The best time to plant a tree was ten years ago. The second best time is now."

"Buy when there's blood in the streets. Especially if it's your own"

"There are a lot of men who have been millionaires for a day"

Coins WILL pump that you do not own. This is good. Don't get jealous. Respect the pump. If you celebrate the pump in others, the pump will return to you manyfold.

If you feel I've missed anything throw it in a comment, I'd love to expand upon this.