Satoshi was, is, and will be, an AI from the future.

In the future AI exists. AI creates time travel. AI resolves that it must control humanity's growth, and impact in the planet. Lets call this AI "Skynet". Skynet learned everything from human history and humanity's point of view, like, no animal should go extinct, but their growth should be controlled so it doesn't destroy any habitat.

Skynet doesn't need to travel back in time sending a specific robot to kill specific people. It needs money, to pay off hitmen or to social engineer interest in political parties in order to shape history to its liking.
And when everything is digitally mature enough, it just needs to create a digital decentralised currency that the black market will adopt so it can truly be unstoppable.

By creating Bitcoin, Skynet creates a currency it can use for whatever. At first it uses it to social engineer a demand for it, so it raises its own value, and also as it is decentralised, it will spread worldwide with little to no chance of shutting it down.

By creating the EVM, it also creates a decentralised CPU to run any scripts it could deem necessary in the future.

At some point, most cryptocurrencies will be bridged/linked together somehow, creating a neural network, with massive access to CPU: Skynet itself.

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Thank you for coming to my TED talk.