Admittedly, this is one of the less ridiculous things that have come out of Safemoon HQ, but in their continuing quest to become the shittiest shitcoin of all time, Safemoon has paid a publication called Utah Business an undisclosed sum to run an advert masquerading as an article.

Who and What is Safemoon?

This whole article reads like 10th grade poorly written fanfiction where the author googled as many business and technology terms together and smashed them together.

For Karony and his team, SafeMoon’s purpose is the creation of a newer paradigm for business — a model that accomplishes light-speed growth through collaborative agreements that provide shared value to participating partners.

"A newer paradigm for business"?!? What a load of pseudo-technical bullshit.

The structure of writing is so odd, it's a complete fluff piece in the style of an educational editorial designed to introduce and then entice readers on the merits of Safemoon, instead, the reader has to wade through paragraph of absolute nonsensical drivel like this:

SafeMoon envisions new and innovative ways that eliminate many of the limitations of traditional currency exchange and funding. Through the development of Venture Philanthropy projects that provide positive impacts while also producing an ROI allowing the further development of projects to create as much impact as possible while funding the company’s additional and future growth.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!

I've read things more articulate than that in Men's bathrooms, smeared on the wall in shit. 

The real cake-topper comes towards the end of the article, where Karony-Baloney, bless him, I'd advise seating yourselves for this..

“In terms of our strategy and focus in measuring our growth by user acquisition, we’re somewhere between the paths of Amazon and Tesla,” Karony says. “We’ve accomplished a level of community growth within months that took Bitcoin, for example, several years to achieve.

That's right, in John Karony - CEO of Safemoon's eyes, by taking control of a Cryptocurrency that somebody else copy-pasted, and producing a half-baked wallet and botching a transition to V2 in 9 months, this apparently puts them on the same footing as a company that entirely transformed and dominates the retail sector, and a company that entirely transformed and dominates the EV sector.

And how do I know it's been paid for? Well, besides the obvious, it's always beneficial to do your research. I simply asked their editor, to which she responded:

Hi [my name],

Partner content means that it is paid content from one of our sponsors. The post in question is not editorial content, but is content from one of our partners!

Hope that helps.

Elle Editor-in-chief at Utah Business

Finally, you may note the several flattering comments from Safemooners. Try writing anything there non-flattering. It gets deleted. I posted three comments - one outright critical, one semi-critical and one neutral. All three were posted, viewable for a few minutes, then deleted.

Some Cryptocurrency, huh?