The mentality of a meme coin investor

You are sitting there on your swivel chair in front of the PC, neck slumped forward from years of bad posture, watching your portfolio slowly bleed out for the 100th time. You are browsing coin market cap and see that another fucking dog coin has somehow entered the top 100. This one is called Shiba Inu. You just shake your head and go back to browsing.

A few weeks later you notice that it's somehow broken into the top 50. "probably nothing" you think, and alt-tab back into Steam.

Another month goes by. Somehow Shiba just keeps gaining value. You discover an entire subreddit dedicated to the coin. You read some of the comments. "those poor, deluded fools" you think to yourself, sniggering away. You go to sleep knowing that's its only a matter of time before the dump happens.

A week later the dump does indeed happen. Shiba loses 40% in a matter of hours. You race to the CryptoCurrency subreddit to join the rest of the neckbeards gleefully posting about people losing money. "how could people not know its a scam lmao" you post with cheetos encrusted fingers.

A few months go by, and Shiba is all but forgotten. But while browsing twitter looking for Cardano's latest hype tweet, you notice that Elon Musk has tweeted a picture of his new dog which looks suspiciously like a Shiba breed. Before you could leave a scathing reply, you notice that Shiba gained 100% in the past hour. Shiba is now in the top 30.

"What the fuck!" you angrily post in the IOTA subreddit. "How does a meme coin have more value than my precious feeless coin? We have partnerships!" you go to bed in a daze.

Some time goes by, and then one day you wake up and realize Shiba has been listed on Coinbase overnight. "What kind of people are running Coinbase?" you think to yourself. "if I was the CEO, I would list NANO, doesn't coinbase care about making money?" "Bunch of idiots"

Shiba is now in the top 20. There is at least 10 posts a day in /r/CryptoCurrency talking about people who have made life changing gains. You downvote every one of them, but still don't invest.

Shiba gains another 100% over the following 2 days. A bad feeling starts gnawing away inside your brain. "why didn't a invest earlier?" you moan out loud. Your favourite coin, Stellar, is slowly bleeding out while this shitcoin is mooning day by day. That evening, you read a post "if you just invested $1000 few months ago, you would be a millionaire right now". You spend a sleepless night in bed.

On the bus ride to work next day, you watch Tik Tok videos of 18 year olds driving their lambos and giving investment advice to the seasoned bankers of Wall Street. "All thanks to Shiba" they say with a shit eating grin. Shiba has now passed Doge Coin by market cap. Upon arriving at work, a coworker asks you condescendingly "how's that Vechain invesent going bro? You must have made bank." he claps you on the back and walks away laughing. The secretary at your company overhears this and asks you how to buy Shiba. You give her an incredulous look. "But if Shiba goes to $1, I'll be a millionaire!" She smiles at you expectantly. You manage to choke down your rage and walk away.

When checking blockfolio while taking a shit on company time, you discover that Shiba has gained another 70% in the past hour. Shiba is now number 6 on coin market cap. Something inside you snaps. You race back home that evening and YOLO 10k into Shib. You get the funds by selling your precious Bitcoin. "it's not like Bitcoin is becoming more and more adopted, its old and slow technology" is your final thought before closing Brave.

Before you go to sleep, you check your portfolio one last time. Your well researched portfolio consisting of coins which are making a difference in the world is down 10%. Shiba is up another 25%. "so this is what it feels like" you think to yourself.

That night, in some dark corner of the internet, the 4-5 billionaires who have been manipulating the market and Internet forums these past 6 months check their algorithms and trading bots. Enough new retail investors have FOMO'd in. "time to open the short positions".

When waking up the next morning, you discover Shiba is down over 50%. Panicking, you search the Internet for answers. It turned out that 3-4 large wallets controlled over 60% of the Shib supply, and they all decided to sell at the same time. Gnashing your teeth, you sell back into bitcoin at a 60% loss. "I'll never touch meme coins again".

That evening, you notice that a new meme coin called Kisha Inu has entered the top 100....