The Motley Fool lives up to its name

Thinking of taking financial advice from The Motley Fool? Man, you might as well flip a coin and call it strategy. These assholes have been spouting “wisdom” since the '90s—when I followed them, and their stock picks are so brilliant they’ve trailed the S&P 500 by a solid 3% a year for a decade, per CXO Advisory. That’s right—a blind dart throw could outmuscle their “expertise.” Next time they pump up a stock, just flip the script: short it, ditch it, or use their article to light your grill. Following The Fool is basically a one-way ticket to handing your portfolio to the market on a silver platter. Well played, Fools!