The date is November 27th, 2027. Five years ago today I bought 2 whole Bitcoin for $33k USD. Here are the highlights of my last half decade of holding…
Nov 27th, 2022: Became a whole coiner twice over.
Jan 6th, 2023: Sam Bankman-Fried is found deceased in his driveway where he apparently died from a self inflicted wrench bludgeoning.
Feb 8th, 2023: Bitcoin hits it’s low point of $9,989 in the 22’/23’ bear market.
May 4th, 2023: Litecoin surpasses Ethereum in value at $946.
July 18th, 2023: President Zelenskyy declares Ukraine victorious after Putin is assassinated and Russia surrenders.
December 3rd, 2023: M00ns surpass Ethereum in value at $365.
January 24th, 2024: M00ns hit their ATH of $1,008.
January 25th, 2024: Elon Musk announces he has just bought out Reddit for $15 billion.
January 26th, 2024: M00ns crash in value to $89.
April 2nd, 2024: Bitcoin hits previous ATH.
May 9th, 2024: Reddit declares bankruptcy.
November 8th, 2024: Musk and Bezos blast off in individual rockets in order to be the first human to set foot on Mars.
February 3rd, 2025: Contact is lost with Bezos ship BlueZer. He is never heard from again.
August 12th, 2025: Musk’s spaceship Doge misses Mars by 2.5 million miles due to hiring programmers solely based on number of lines of code.
August 14th, 2025: Doge hits it’s ATH of $1.08.
December 28th, 2025: Bitcoin hits ATH of $302,800.
July 6th, 2026: I sell my Bitcoin for $89,980 each due to fear of further crash.
November 5th, 2026: I didn’t time the bottom right and FOMO’d my 2 Bitcoin back for $108k each.
March 30th, 2027: Long lost Elon is spotted in Fiji.
April 3rd, 2027: Elon appears on Fox News and claims his rocket was pulled back by Earth’s gravity. Turns out he staged the whole thing.
September 9th, 2027: Bitcoin is announced as the official world currency.
November 24th, 2027: Bitcoin hits ATH of $1.28 million.
November 25th, 2027: I can’t find my seed phrase. I buried it in my backyard. It looks like my dog might have dug it up and ate it.
November 27th, 2027: I use my whole life savings to FOMO in and buy 2 whole satoshis.
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