I can teach you how to never pay taxes on your crypto. You can easily do the same with just a couple easy to follow steps. Disclaimer: I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about.

This is my guide to never have to pay the IRS, or whatever your countries equivalent tax collector is.

Step 1: DCA into good, reputable, long term projects. These need to be projects that can survive the next crypto winter when it comes. Hint: If it has a dog, Elon musk, claims to be safe, or has a celestial body; it isn’t a good project to invest in long term.

Step 2: Don’t trade your coins for other coins and do not sell until you are ready to truly cash in. Trading and selling are taxable events. This means don’t fomo into shitcoin pumps. Just because shibsafemarsdogemoon went up 25% yesterday and you wanted to buy but didn’t, and then it goes up another 20% today don’t trade valuable BTC or ETH for an imminent rig pull.

Step 3: When you’re ready to cash in and be rich, move the fuck out of whatever country is trying to tax you. Go to a place that has no capital gains tax on crypto. There are a lot of them and some have very relaxed immigration laws.

Step 4: Buy a Toyota Hilux. The country you just moved to probably doesn’t have roads nice enough for a Lambo. In Iraq I had seen a Hilux used as a VBIED and bet it still could have driven away after it was set off. You can’t even buy these in the United States unless you pay a huge import tax or it’s over 20 years old too.

Alternate method: just don’t fucking worry about it. The exchanges I use in the US don’t report you unless you have 200 transactions AND $20,000 in assets. So by this definition you could have $100k worth of crypto that you made over 199 transactions and the IRS will never know. (I don’t know how/if banks report large deposits though. Look up your individual bank for that)

This is terrible financial advice and you probably shouldn’t listen to a random idiot on the internet anyway. Get yourself a real CPA (not a seasonal tax worker at HRBlock) and see what they recommend.